I’ve always felt this way with my parents ever since I can remember.
Looking for them to say “great job”.
I’m proud – of YOU.
Even now, as an adult, I still search for it.
I’m not a doctor. Or lawyer.
I didn’t marry of the same culture or religion.
My kids don’t know much of the language.
I’m doing pretty well for myself but I never hear a “good for you” let alone a pat on the back.
Why do I still search for their approval?
Because although I’m all grown up with a family of my own, I still want their approval.
I want them to be proud of me.
But show it.
Utter the damn words!
What do you think, I’m going to grow a big head if you tell me a simple “good job”?
Don’t I deserve a little recognition, from my own parents?
My own family?
Why is having their approval so important to me anyway? I’m a grown woman for God’s sake! But yet, there it is…
I may not be the perfect person, or mother, or daughter, or whatever – but I try damn hard. I used to try really hard to please my family. Both sides of the family. Go out of my way for everyone.
But no more.
I’ve tried so hard… but I’ve had enough.
I want to be appreciated.
I want a simple “yay for you”, “congrats” or a mere “thank you”.
I can almost feel the old guilt creeping back in…
But I stop it right there.
I won’t let it take over.
I won’t be made to feel like a child again.